Relationships in the COVID Era

This quarantine has brought out both the best and worst in us. Although some would admit the collective stress it’s put us all under definitely brings out the worst more than the best. It’s hard enough to stay sane dealing with your own thoughts and multitude of things to do. However, when you’re also adjusting to your partner being around all of the time, it can be a whole different ballgame. I’m sure we can all agree a different range of emotions has taken over us since the quarantine started. Couples all around the world are either managing how to be around their partner 24/7 or have suddenly been launched into a long-distance relationship.

I’ve been lucky in the sense that I’ve gotten the best of both worlds during this quarantine. I’ve split my time between my parents’ place and the apartment my boyfriend and I share. Doing this has given me the opportunity to have my own space and down time with my family but also spend quality time with my boyfriend. I know a lot aren’t in the ideal position to do this and I wanted to share a few tips to make this a smoother and much more bearable for you.

Togetherness

For most people, their ultimate goal is to share their entire lives with one person. Even so, that usually that doesn’t mean all day every day. If you’re fortunate enough to be quarantining with your partner (I know sometimes they may drive you up a wall, but consider the ones doing long distance currently), then you have so many opportunities to keep your love alive. Here are some tips to help rejuvenate and re-energize your relationship.

Be empathetic
This is the time to be compassionate and kind towards your partner, even more so than usual. This pandemic is hard on everyone and whether your partner discusses it or not, it’s also affecting them in unpredictable ways. Whatever their reactions may be at times, try being more understanding of where they’re coming from. Obviously this doesn’t give them the right to treat you like crap, but you could let some transgressions slide. So the next time they’re quick to snap at you, ask them what’s bothering them and try to have an open discussion. Being more considerate about their fears or anxiety will make you both stronger.

Create a set routine
This can help you both plan out exactly how you want your day to go – individually as well as together. Try to time out your meals together and take the necessary time you need individually to get your work done. Whether you’re working from home or just need to run your day-to-day errands, planning it out will help create some much needed structure. If you have kids, you can also factor them into the schedule and how you’ll both be spending time with them and taking turns making their meals, etc. If you need more time away from another, you can plan out alone time to focus on your own individual interests and hobbies.

Share in each other’s interests
Speaking of individual interests and hobbies, sometimes it’s fun to share what you love with your partner. You may love painting and he may love playing video games. You may love gardening and he may enjoy woodworking. Wherever your interests may lie, it can be exciting to see what your partner is passionate about and learn a thing or two from them. It could also become an activity you both enjoy doing together in the long run.

Hands-on activities
Besides your normal hobbies and interests, you can do activities around the house that may be beneficial to both of you while adding tons of fun. You both can cook together and even take a fun online cooking course together. In fact, Airbnb is offering these from chefs all around the world. You can create a workout routine together, create some DIY projects for the house, or play some fun board games. Try going out for some walks together and do something more practical and hands on rather than just another day of sitting and watching Netflix.

Date night
Yup, that’s right. I’m sure you’re thinking, “but where can we even go right now?!” Well, date nights aren’t only exclusive to stepping out for the night. Date night can be absolutely anything you want it to be. Staying at home, chilling in your PJs, taking some time out of your day to cook for one another (or at least Doordash something), playing your favorite music and drinking some wine. You can dress up in your fanciest clothes and have a candle-lit date in your balcony or backyard. You can create a fun scavenger hunt, build a fort out of blankets and pillows for a major cuddle sesh, or simply take some time out to dance with each other to your favorite song. Things are also slowly starting to open up and if you’re comfortable, outdoor dining, a drive-in movie, hiking, a picnic at the park, going to the beach or even wine tasting at a vineyard are all fun and viable options. Whatever it is, keep it light, airy and fun! Reconnect with one another and let your worries melt away.

Long Distance

Long distance can be absolutely brutal and this is coming from someone who truly knows how it feels. I was in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for four years. Yeah I know, insane. However, as tumultuous and heart wrenching as those times were, they truly made us stronger. (Cliché, but true.) This time is testing all of us, but I know not quite like the ones who are going at this distance stuff all by themselves. The unpredictability of when you’re going to see one another can be daunting and anxiety inducing. I won’t at all claim to be an expert, but here are some things that really helped me when my boyfriend and I were tackling distance.

Be vocal
You could be talking to your partner all the time and still not really share what’s going on deep down inside. Be vocal about how you’re feeling. Like I said, these are tough times for everyone and it’s okay to feel vulnerable. It’s also okay to talk about it and convey exactly what you’re thinking. If you miss your partner, ask them to set aside some time for you to truly talk about how things are going. It’s common to “talk” all the time without actually talking about the important stuff. Be open and more communicative with your partner and it’ll really help maintain a solid foundation.

Facetime
This is an obvious one. Facetime or any sort of video calling is truly a game changer for long distance relationships. I’m just grateful for a world where we’re not sending carrier pigeons to deliver our love letters (cue the bollywood song ‘kabootar jaa jaa jaa’). There’s so much more you can do through video chatting than just talking. You can have your meals with one another, watch a movie or show together, play an online game, listen to music, and even get intimate and spice your relationship up ;). Honestly, just have fun and do whatever makes you happy and comfortable. The (virtual) world is your oyster.

Make time
This one is probably the most important. It’s easy to be on a call together but not truly be present in the moment. It’s so crucial to set aside time for each other just to talk, catch up and ask each other how their day has been going. It’s so easy to get caught up in the moment and get occupied with a million different things even when you’re on the phone with each other. Turn off all the distractions and just focus and prioritize your partner. It truly makes all the difference.

Do the little things
Love isn’t always about a grand gesture. I once heard somewhere that love is woven from the small moments, the moments you didn’t see coming or the ones that were completely inconspicuous at first. You don’t realize until later that those are truly the big moments. Love happens in waves, just as most things do. Little things can go a long way. Many partners are celebrating their anniversaries, birthdays and other occasions apart, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do something special for them. Send them a fun present, a little care package, something to remind them that you’re thinking of them. Do it even when there’s no occasion at all. “Just because” flowers or a surprise food delivery – whatever would make your partner smile from ear to ear. The little things add up to everything.



So that’s a wrap for this one, my loves. Are any of these tips helpful to you? How are you coping with your relationship? Is there anything I’m missing out on that works for you? Let me know in the comments below or feel free to message me on Instagram – @sassysherni. Always looking forward to hearing from you guys.


xo,
S